6 Ways To Feel “Good Enough” When You Don’t
Sometimes we can be really harsh on ourselves. There’s a saying that goes something like “we can’t hate ourselves into people we love” and I think that is really powerful. I know we all have days when we don’t feel “good enough” for our partners, friends, jobs, or opportunities. However, we won’t create people we love. It will just create more hate.
So, how are you supposed to get out of that funk? When you feel so down, you just don’t feel good enough for anything or anyone… How are you supposed to magically feel differently?
The answer: nothing happens instantly but with practice and with time, you can grow to love and cherish yourself. You can grow to accept your flaws and still love the person you are. So, let’s chat about it!
What does “not feeling enough” really mean?
Essentially the feeling of not being enough or not being good enough comes from our inner critic! You know, the voice inside your head that says mean and simply untrue things?
You might be feeling like you’re not good enough because:
- You feel like a fraud (aka imposter syndrome)
- You think that you’re no one special
- Someone has made you feel flawed
- You think you don’t have your life together
- You compare yourself to others a lot
- Or an array of other reasons…
Feeling “not enough” feels pretty lonely. It’s important to note that everyone feels like this from time to time! We all go through worries and doubts that we aren’t doing as well as we should be or that for some reason people just don’t like us.
Surprisingly that is normal! But you don’t need to feel like that all the time and honestly if you do it’s going to hold you back from some pretty incredible things!
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Reminders for when you feel down on yourself
Most people are too focused on themselves to worry about what you are doing.
So stop overthinking everything. Tom from work is not spending every waking hour trying to prove you aren’t worthy of your job.
The people you compare yourself to are comparing themselves to other people too.
Whether it’s on social media or in real life, even the people you think are “perfect” are looking at someone else wishing they had their body, clothes, house, life.
There are people who look up to you.
We all have secret admirers! Someone in your life thinks you’re doing great even if they don’t tell you. Could be a friend, someone in your family, or a person you knew from high school.
Your progress is more important than anything else!
No one is perfect so spend time focusing on how far you’ve already come.
Everyone is on their own journey so you are not behind or late.
You are doing things on your own time and that cannot be compared. Leave that timeline you created for yourself in the past. It’s not realistic
How to start feeling “good enough”
As I mentioned before, there’s no magic pill. No way to change things overnight. So with that in mind, let’s chat about how you can start feeling awesome!
Practice daily affirmations
Affirmations are great because they are easy to do and can be done at any time. Starting your day with an affirmation like “I deserve love” or “I am worthy of everything I want” can start to change your mindset around being good enough.
Talk to a therapist
If you find that your feelings are getting worse and worse and no matter what you do it’s not getting better, go chat with a therapist! There is no harm in asking for help and it will help you build your confidence and change the way you see yourself.
Set realistic goals
Sometimes we struggle with our self-confidence because we set too big of goals. If you set a goal of losing 15 pounds in a month you will most likely be really discouraged when that doesn’t happen. It didn’t not happen because you aren’t good enough or didn’t try hard enough… it didn’t happen because it’s not realistic.
Practice self-care on a regular basis
Showering yourself in love can be a great way to teach yourself that you are in fact good enough and you deserve love, attention, and everything else you want. Even though you might not feel like you deserve to take a break, the more you do it, the more you will realize you are worthy.
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Give yourself praise
If no one else is telling you how great you’re doing, tell yourself! Give yourself little rewards and verbally say you’re doing a good job. Getting praise, even if it’s from yourself, reminds you that you’re doing great and that you are “good enough.”
Do something you know you’re good at
We all need a boost in confidence sometimes. I know you are good at something. Nothing is too big or too small. It could be something work-related or just something at home. I’m really good at taking care of my cat. Cleaning her space, making sure she has her basic needs met, and playing with her are things that make me feel good and competent. You can be good at ANYTHING (cooking, cleaning, reading, talking, shopping, etc.).
There are times when you won’t feel up to par. You’ll feel small like you don’t belong or you don’t deserve what you have. It might get in the way of your work or your goal progress. However, that feeling doesn’t need to take over your life.
You are good enough and with some practice, you can really start to believe it. So, when you are having your doubts, remember that you can take certain steps to improve how you feel about yourself.
At the end of the day, you are enough. You are worthy. You can do anything you want to do!