How To Practice Self-love If Your Goals Didn’t Work Out This Year
It’s the end of the year and you might have some mixed feelings. You started out in January with some big goals. I bet you even had a plan for achieving them! As the year went on you lost motivation, you got tired, you probably changed your mind about some things, and ultimately didn’t reach your goals.
Hey, we’ve all been there! There are quite a few goals I didn’t achieve this year too. Does it feel good? Nope! But honestly, so much happens in a year. Everything you decided to go for in January might not be what you want now. Pivoting and changing your mind totally happens!
The important thing about goals is that you can’t beat yourself up about your failures. Everyone gives up on a goal, everyone changes their mind, and everyone gets tired!! It’s important to practice self-love. Practice self-compassion! Chances are even if you didn’t achieve all the goals you set, you achieved other things!
If you are hating yourself for not reaching your goals this year, let’s chat about how you can practice self-love and get ready for the year ahead!
What is self-love?
Maybe you are new to the whole idea of self-love… that’s okay! It’s never too late to jump on the self-love train.
Self-love is a state of appreciation for yourself. It also means caring about your growth, needs, and well-being.
Self-love and self-care are often confused because the definitions really overlap. While self-care is about taking care of yourself and the actual actions you are doing, self-love is a feeling and a way of thinking and being.
Self-love includes the way you talk to yourself and think about yourself, prioritizing yourself, being true to yourself and your desires, and so much more!
Can you see how self-love is actually different from self-care? Self-love is the feeling/ way of being, while self-care is the action you take to get there!
So, how do you practice self-love and actually feel like you love yourself when you miss the mark on your goals? Let’s chat about that!
How to practice self-love when you are upset with yourself
Usually, when you don’t achieve your goals it can be pretty upsetting. It’s even worse when you get to the end of the year and you look back and reflect and see that things didn’t go to plan.
There can be a lot of anger, frustration, sadness, and guilt. You might be pretty upset with yourself and find yourself saying and thinking some mean things.
First off, it’s important to be easy on yourself. Remember that so much happens in a year! January you is not December you!
The best way to “get over” the loss and move on to your next goals is to love and forgive yourself! This is how you can do that…
Make time to feel your feelings
Part of self-love is having flaws and loving yourself anyways. Allow yourself time to go through your feelings and be upset with yourself. Sometimes you just need to go through the motions. However, practice loving yourself even with the negative feelings.
Example: “even though I didn’t make time to work on my goals, I still love and appreciate myself” or “even though I gave up on my fitness goal this year, I am proud of myself for knowing when I need to rest.”
Related read: 50 Ways To Start Practicing Self Love Right Now
Start fresh for the new year
The best thing you could do for yourself is to start fresh and not let the past ruin your present and future. Yes, this past year you struggled to achieve your goals. But moving forward try to stay positive and focus on the new goals you have set.
Do something special for you
Celebrating and rewarding yourself is not just for when you achieve your biggest goals. Being here on this earth is enough. Moving into the new year, make sure you do something special for YOU. Take yourself on a date, buy yourself something nice, and remember that even though you didn’t achieve everything you set out to this year, you are still worthy of celebration.
Related read: 50 Fun Ways To Celebrate Achieving Your Goals
Write yourself a letter
Imagine you are writing a letter to your BFF about how they didn’t achieve their goals this year but they totally can next year. Think of all the things you would say to them. All the positive attributes you would point out, all their other successes from the year… now, write that same letter to yourself!
Talk to a therapist
If you are really struggling to move past your current “failure” then it wouldn’t hurt to chat with a therapist! They can help you come to terms with what’s happening for you and come up with strategies in the future to cope differently with failure. It’s really a win-win because even if there isn’t something huge going on in your life, a therapist can still be there for support! Who doesn’t like having someone to talk to?!
Create a vision board
A new year means new goals! Sit down and focus on yourself for a while. What do you really want this year? If anything was possible, what would your life look like? Where do you want to be in 5 years? Be as honest and true to yourself as possible because, in the end, this should represent you and your goals, not what your parents or friends want for you!
The best way to love yourself is to focus on what would make you the happiest and most proud!
Buy yourself flowers
We all feel a little better when there are fresh flowers around! Treat yourself to some flowers to lift your mood. People buy flowers for so many reasons: celebrations, birthdays, anniversaries, saying thanks, sympathy, and just because!
Grab yourself some pretty flowers to grieve your last year and the sadness or anger you feel about not achieving your goals but also to celebrate the new goals you set and will work towards moving forward!
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If you didn’t reach your goals this year, don’t worry! A new year means new opportunities. Learn from the past year if you can. What didn’t work? Why did you struggle with your goals? Do you have a plan moving forward?
It can be hard to just move on from the negative feelings. Let’s be real, it feels really shitty to look back at the year and see all the goals you set were not achieved. I’ve been there and I know it’s not a good feeling!
However, it’s important to practice self-love when you don’t reach your goals because you can’t go back in the past and change anything. All you can do is move forward. Feeling down on yourself and being mean won’t make your future goals more likely to happen. If anything, it will make them less likely!
So, remember to love yourself even when it’s hard. Keep working on your goals and make yourself proud