The Blogger Comparison Trap + How To Stop Comparing Yourself
As a person who spends time online or on social media, it is easy to fall into the comparison trap! Everyone seems to be living the perfect lives with their perfect friends and family on their perfect vacations… it can be a little hard to handle sometimes!
When you are a blogger, content creator, or influencer, the comparison trap can be something even bigger and harder to escape from.
You tend to watch what others are doing and seeing some people’s Instagram accounts seemingly blow up overnight or see other bloggers making more money than you can be difficult, especially if you are struggling with your own accounts/ blog.
Even though it’s easy to suck yourself into all the comparisons and the negative feelings that come with that, it’s possible to stop doing it all together. It’s possible to not let what others do bother you!
You can (and you will after reading this post) view others’ content and not allow all the worries, doubts, and comparisons sneak into your beautiful brain. Let’s get into it!
The comparison trap + what it looks like
In the simplest terms, the comparison trap is when you get in the habit of measuring your life against others. We hyper-focus on others’ lives and achievements while focusing on how our lives aren’t “as good” as theirs.
Generally speaking, the comparison is mostly fueled by jealousy. The person or people you are watching online or wherever; you deem to have something you want or can’t have.
That is why it’s sooo easy to fall into the comparison trap online. People post their best photos and show a picture-perfect life. Maybe you want the body they have, the life they have, the family they have…
Some signs you are stuck in the comparison trap:
- You’re spending a lot of time looking at someone else’s life
- You have a lot of negative things to say about yourself
- You say phrases like “I could never have as many followers as her because I’m not as _____ as her” (fill in the blank with whatever fits… funny, smart, pretty, talented, etc.)
- Going on social media just makes you feel bad
- You have a hard time feeling happy for others because you are so stuck on comparing your own successes
- You may even gossip and put others down to make yourself feel better (jealousy can make us do mean things sometimes!)
How bloggers compare themselves
Being online all the time can be difficult. We definitely choose this life but with it comes some negatives.
Whether you are online as a blogger, content creator, influencer, small business, hobbyist, etc., it is nearly impossible not to make some comparison to other people doing the same thing as you!
I wrote a whole blog post about some of my feelings and the comparisons I made when I was just getting started as a blogger. I consider myself to be a homebody and made lots of comparisons to other bloggers because I felt my content wasn’t as cool as others. You can read the whole post here.
Some typical comparisons bloggers make:
- How “successful” their blog is in comparison to others
- Follower count on social media
- Brands and sponsorships
- Money made
- Email subscribers
- How fashionable they are in comparison to others
- How fun someone else’s life is
There are so many ways bloggers compare themselves to others, those are just a few.
Do you see why I’m saying falling into the comparison trap can be so easy?
The thing about blogging and creating content is that it’s so personal! You are writing the post and creating the content. It’s a hard pill to swallow when you work so hard and see others succeed while you struggle.
Everything is so public and it’s easy to “measure” someone’s success. Maybe they got more comments than you did or more likes. Maybe their blog post has been shared 300 times. It’s hard to argue with the metrics and it can feel like that’s all that matters but I promise, that isn’t true.
The trouble with social proof
There is nothing inherently wrong with social proof and if you are a business owner you know that it’s actually much needed! However, I personally feel that sometimes it can be used in a negative way or maybe more so in a misleading way.
So, to start off – what is social proof? It is essentially using reviews, recommendations, testimonials, or any other way to show a person has used a product or service or has engaged in some sort of wanted behavior.
Some examples of social proof:
- A testimonial on a sales page
- Reviews on Amazon products
- A business re-sharing customers’ pictures of them using a product
So where does social proof come into bloggers comparing themselves to others? Well, it’s simple really.
How social proof can be misleading
When another blogger/content creator shares personal messages they receive or seem to get a ton of questions when they do an “ask me anything” or seemingly always have people asking where they got their skirt… it can definitely cause jealousy that they are getting all this love and engagement and you get none.
Now, I’m not saying that people are lying when they get this type of engagement!! Not at all!
However, I do want to highlight how these types of things can be easily faked/ could be misleading. For instance, did you know that you can respond to your own question box on Instagram? You could easily ask yourself 20 of the questions and respond in your stories.
You can also easily post an Instagram story, post, blog post, YouTube video, etc. saying that tons of your followers are asking for your morning routine or where you get your lipgloss from even if no one has asked.
So, when you find yourself getting stuck on all this social proof just remind yourself that not everything you see on social media is real. It may be. But don’t get so hung up on it because we never truly know and it’s not worth your time to worry about it!
Ways to stop comparing yourself to others
Will you ever truly stop comparing yourself to others? No, probably not. It’s a natural human behavior. However, you can stop doing it in such a toxic way and allow yourself to be happy in the midst of others’ success. So, here are some tips!
Mind your own business
Just focus on yourself and what you are doing. Get your blog posts out. Promote them. Maybe read a few of your fav bloggers and leave the rest alone. Just work on bettering yourself!
Realize social media is a highlight reel (even for bloggers and content creators)
Believe it or not, we tend to put our best photos on the internet and leave the other 50 we tried to take and didn’t work out, off. You may think some people are just prettier and can pose so well but they also took a million photos and disliked most of them! Don’t stress so much!
When someone has something you want, ask them how they did it!
Have you ever felt jealous when you saw a blogger get a partnership with a brand or they got some opportunity you want? Have you ever reached out and asked them how they did it? Maybe they actually contacted the brand themselves or did the content for free. You just don’t know so why not ask?!
Real life example: I have a book Instagram account. I partner with a few book publishers and get sent books now and then in exchange for promotion. I had someone ask how I got all these books and how they could do it too. It was a matter of explaining to the person that some publishers have sign-up forms and all you have to do is fill them out and see if they accept you!
Keep working hard
Similarly to mind your own business, if you keep working hard and focusing on your content you won’t have time to worry about everyone else.
Lose the scarcity mindset
It may seem like there is only enough fame, money, and opportunities to go around for the select few but the truth is, there is enough for everyone. Lose the scarcity mindset that there is enough room for you and start thinking about HOW MUCH room there is for you! Hint: there are lots!
Take a social media/ blogging break
Sometimes the best thing to do is to just put the phone down and stop looking at social media. Take a few days to just not look at it and do something else.
Before I started blogging I took a few months away from my personal Instagram because I started feeling so bad about myself. It was a great break. I got to focus on myself, my hobbies, and the things that make me, me.
- The Biggest Struggles Of Blogging As A Homebody (+ Tips For New Bloggers)
- The Struggle Of Being Multi-Passionate And How To Embrace It
- A Day In The Life Of A Part Time Blogger
- Life By Deanna Is ONE – Here’s What I’ve Learned
As you can see, getting stuck in the comparison trap can happen easily. Being online a lot can cause you to be jealous of others, especially when the metrics are so public and easy to compare to your own!
Remember that you are your own unique and special person. You have things to offer to this blogging world that others don’t. Focus on yourself and how much you bring to the table and less on what everyone else is doing!
Have you ever compared yourself to others? If you’re a blogger, do you ever struggle with comparison?